"First rule of leadership: everything is your fault" (A bug's Life)
Pumbaa: Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?
Timon: Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know.
Pumbaa: Oh. What are they?
Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh... got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.
Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything's gas.
(The Lion King)
Scarlett: Rhett, Rhett... Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?
Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
(Gone with the Wind)
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Marriage & wives :: America <=> Islam
Marriage & wives
America <=> Islam
Islam defines only one relation between man & woman as a couple, call with one name "wife". It doesn't have date, girlfriend, significant other or live-together girlfriend, and legal wife. Instead of "I will call you", "break up", and divorce, Islam call with one word "divorce".
1) America::date vs Islam::wife (islam's religious marriage) and America::"I will call you" == Islam::divorce (religious divorce)
You can meet a girl, take her home. While us culture call date, islam call wife (I call religious wife). Islam don't say date, they say wife (you have to religiously marry, no need for social marriage, or legal marriage). Next morning you say "I will call you". Islam doesn't say this, but it says "divorce". I call religious divorce.
Islam's religious marriage is define as a marriage where 2 guy is your witness and religious divorce is define as you say "divorce", nobody except the girl need to hear.
This is equivalent to western culture's "date" where you invite the girl in a party to say come with you (water or cab driver at least is probably your witness). Next morning you say "I will call you". You both know that is it, you may not see each other again (no body else need to know).
Can you have more than one "Date"?
Well, people usually have more than one. That's why you no commitment.
2) America::girldfriend vs Islam::social_wife (America::move_on vs Islam::social_divorce)
Girlfriend is similar to Islam's social wife. Every body (at least your parents, friend etc) know that you two are man and woman living as a couple. Islamic rules don't require this as a part of marriage. But you can let every body know. So you publicly marry (say "kabul" or accept her as your wife), but no legal string attached. In us, you publicly let your friend know that you guys "move on" or "break up" and no longer a couple. In Islam, you publicly say that you divorced her. Other people hear it and a new set of rules apply to you.
Can you have more than one girlfriend?
Well there is only verbal commitment. You can break up any time (I mean easily). People don't usually break up first. They start a new one, existing one find out, they want to know who you REALLY want to be with. Then thing get dirty and so on. In this case the guy doesn't break up with GF#1, it is she who breaks up if she want to when she want to. Until then, he have 2 girlfriend or maybe more. Same goes for Islam's social wife. Girl usually headed to her parent's home (since she don't support her self) or stick with the guy because he will still support her.
3) America::legal_wife vs Islam::legal_wife (America::legal_divorce vs Islam::legal_divorce)
The word "legally" married does not mean that you can legally or illegally marry some one. But it means you are married in eye of law. That mean have a "legal" certificate of marriage that you can show in the court. This is similar in both America & Islamic countries.
Can you have 2 legal wives?
Even in America you CAN have 2 legal wives!! Surprise!! But if one of your wives goes to court, you will end up in jail. In Islamic countries, well I don't know about all of the country, at least in my country you can have 2 legal wives. Again if your wife (at least 1st wife) goes to court, you will end up in jail. UNLESS your first wife already give you a written permission for second marriage. American and BD's law only differs in this "written permission". I think America's law don't permit this "written permission" while DB's law does. We can debate on this issue. Is it appropriate for law to leave this "loop hole"?
America <=> Islam
Islam defines only one relation between man & woman as a couple, call with one name "wife". It doesn't have date, girlfriend, significant other or live-together girlfriend, and legal wife. Instead of "I will call you", "break up", and divorce, Islam call with one word "divorce".
1) America::date vs Islam::wife (islam's religious marriage) and America::"I will call you" == Islam::divorce (religious divorce)
You can meet a girl, take her home. While us culture call date, islam call wife (I call religious wife). Islam don't say date, they say wife (you have to religiously marry, no need for social marriage, or legal marriage). Next morning you say "I will call you". Islam doesn't say this, but it says "divorce". I call religious divorce.
Islam's religious marriage is define as a marriage where 2 guy is your witness and religious divorce is define as you say "divorce", nobody except the girl need to hear.
This is equivalent to western culture's "date" where you invite the girl in a party to say come with you (water or cab driver at least is probably your witness). Next morning you say "I will call you". You both know that is it, you may not see each other again (no body else need to know).
Can you have more than one "Date"?
Well, people usually have more than one. That's why you no commitment.
2) America::girldfriend vs Islam::social_wife (America::move_on vs Islam::social_divorce)
Girlfriend is similar to Islam's social wife. Every body (at least your parents, friend etc) know that you two are man and woman living as a couple. Islamic rules don't require this as a part of marriage. But you can let every body know. So you publicly marry (say "kabul" or accept her as your wife), but no legal string attached. In us, you publicly let your friend know that you guys "move on" or "break up" and no longer a couple. In Islam, you publicly say that you divorced her. Other people hear it and a new set of rules apply to you.
Can you have more than one girlfriend?
Well there is only verbal commitment. You can break up any time (I mean easily). People don't usually break up first. They start a new one, existing one find out, they want to know who you REALLY want to be with. Then thing get dirty and so on. In this case the guy doesn't break up with GF#1, it is she who breaks up if she want to when she want to. Until then, he have 2 girlfriend or maybe more. Same goes for Islam's social wife. Girl usually headed to her parent's home (since she don't support her self) or stick with the guy because he will still support her.
3) America::legal_wife vs Islam::legal_wife (America::legal_divorce vs Islam::legal_divorce)
The word "legally" married does not mean that you can legally or illegally marry some one. But it means you are married in eye of law. That mean have a "legal" certificate of marriage that you can show in the court. This is similar in both America & Islamic countries.
Can you have 2 legal wives?
Even in America you CAN have 2 legal wives!! Surprise!! But if one of your wives goes to court, you will end up in jail. In Islamic countries, well I don't know about all of the country, at least in my country you can have 2 legal wives. Again if your wife (at least 1st wife) goes to court, you will end up in jail. UNLESS your first wife already give you a written permission for second marriage. American and BD's law only differs in this "written permission". I think America's law don't permit this "written permission" while DB's law does. We can debate on this issue. Is it appropriate for law to leave this "loop hole"?
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